


I miss you. I'm Sorry.

by Linctavies_Stilinski_works



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Octavia Blake-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27844906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linctavies_Stilinski_works/pseuds/Linctavies_Stilinski_works
Summary: Forgive me I'm horrible at tags. This is how Octavia dealt with Lincoln's death. Her downward spiral. First Skairippa then Bloodreina. She went through great amounts of pain but eventually found herself again. Octavia Blake the girl from the floor but also a fighter a warrior who deserves her happy ending with her soulmate.There are mentions of other characters, but for the most part this is Octavia centric.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Levitt, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Kudos: 3





	I miss you. I'm Sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by I miss you. I'm sorry. by Gracie Abrams

He died. He died right in front of her. Pike put a bullet in his brain and now he’s gone forever. It hurts so bad she can’t breathe. But when he died he took her with him. As soon as his lifeless body hit the ground she felt empty. She felt as if someone had hollowed her out. And left nothing but her aching heart. She loved him. He was her first love. Her soulmate. Sure she might love again but she would never love anyone the way she loved him.  
How was she supposed to go on. She couldn’t even look at Bellamy. Even though he didn’t kill Lincoln…...this was still his fault. Maybe she just wanted, no needed someone to blame. But even Bell knew the truth. He was partly to blame.  
The months after weren’t better; she just numbed herself. Tuned out the outside world, tuned out the pain. As if it were a switch that could be flipped, that could be dimmed. Her humanity was dimming, she was Skairippa now. Death from above. People feared her, and she liked that she was no longer Bellamy’s weak little sister. She was strong, brave, a warrior like Lincoln said she would be.  
Praimfya was coming. A conclave would be held. Her heart fluttered when Indra mentioned her war paint. It was modeled after Lincoln’s tattoo. She fought for him that day,and she won.  
“Lincoln would be so proud of you.” Indra’s words echoed through her head. Would he?  
The dark year. Octavia had been ignoring her conscience. She knew Bellamy would be disappointed in her but gone were the days of his little sister his responsibility. Gone were the days of being Indra’s second. She was Bloodreina now. She had power. And she loved it. She loved the power.  
After six years she had her brother back and he poisoned her. “You are wonkru or you are the enemy of wonkru, choose! Win the fight, save your life!” “The blood of her enemies is her armor.” “Octavia lost her way to happily ever after a long time ago.” “Octavia’s dead she died when you killed Lincoln” These words floated through her head as she lay in bed. She felt weak; she hated feeling weak.  
Her mental health had been deteriorating since Lincoln’s death. Ever since she sought out revenge. Pike deserved his death. No doubt. But should he have had the chance to seek redemption. Does she deserve to seek redemption? Did she even want redemption?  
She cut into her arm with a shard of glass. The words, “ The blood of her enemies is her armor.” echoed through her as she put her own blood on her face instead of her enemies’. She was her own enemy. She could sense that everyone hated her. Clarke, and Bellamy, even some of her own people wanted her dead. She felt broken. Hollowed out. Lonely. She felt how she felt when she watched Lincoln die. Tears ran down her face as she thought of the one thing that would destroy her if it came from someone else. “Lincoln would be disappointed in you.” She didn’t want to think about that because it was true.  
She killed Bloodreina. She didn’t want to be her anymore. She hated her with every fiber of her being. She hated Bloodreina with every part of herself that was still holding on to her one true love.  
“I tried. I tried, I promise I tried.” Clarke said through choked sobs. Clarke killed Bellamy. Her big brother who protected her, who loved her. He loved her despite being thrown into the fighting pits by his little sister. He loved her because he never would have had a life without her. He never would have gotten to breathe fresh air, see the beauty of Earth, the place he loved more than anything, he never would have gotten to feel the rain on his face. Smell the air after a thunderstorm. He never would have met Clarke, the girl he hated but grew to love.  
Tears filled Octavia’s eyes. Bloodreina wouldn’t have done what she was about to do; she would have executed Clarke herself. Bloodreina would have eaten her. But she was not Bloodreina, she wasn’t Skairippa. She was Octavia. Octavia Blake. The girl from the floor. She was strong, caring, loving, a warrior. A warrior who protected her family who loved her family and Clarke was her family. So she hugged her.  
She ended the last war. “Bellamy was right.” She said as her eyes filled with tears. Lincoln would be so proud of her.  
Octavia had someone new in her life, Levitt.while she might have been his soulmate. Lincoln will always be hers. They transcended. They would be together when they died. They would see the people they lost along the way. The people who should be with them right now.  
Levitt and Octavia lived a long life together. He died 2 years before her. Octavia knew she was closing her eyes for the last time that night. “May we meet again.” she murmured to Hope and Jordan. She was the last of the 100. “In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Save passage on your travels on our final journey on the ground. May we meet again.” Hope and Jordan said through their tears.  
When Octavia opened her eyes she was back where they started. Back where it all began. The ground they were fighting to defend from the grounders. She walked towards the thick woods. She saw a flower. Identical to the flowers Lincoln used to leave her. She picked the flower and smiled. She looked up and saw more. They led her all the way to the bridge. There he was. Her soulmate. His death destroyed her. His death had sent her spiraling. Sent her into a mental breakdown. He was running towards her and she was running towards him. She ran into his arms. “I missed you. And I’m so sorry.” He smiled down at her as he pushed her hair behind her ear and placed a flower in her hair. She smiled brightly at him. She was finally home. Lincoln was her home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is my first fic that I'm publishing. I'm open to constructive criticism. Tell me how it is if you can.


End file.
